How to Watch a Horror Movie
OK, I try to pre-plan these blog thingies. But since I'm feeling mad at the world, I would just like to give my peeps out there a heads up as to how to watch a friggin' scary movie.
Rule Number One:
Chances are, whatever film you've chosen doesn't even come close to anything known in the real world. I KNOW Jason does not exist, thank you! I know that most people can't be implaled on a random sharp object just like that! I know these things. I know you know these things, but WHY do people feel the need to say something to the effect of:
"Uh yeah, right. Why is she going into the old dilapidated house?"
Answer: There wouldn't be a movie is she didn't!
When watching any film, there will always be a suspension of disbelief. We are watching a story unfolding before our eyes. We find ourselves caught up in the fictional lives which have solely been created to either entertain, teach us something, make us feel emotions we want to vent or express but sometimes can't, or at the very least, to create an artistic statement. No matter how human the character comes across, it's ain't real. In a horror movie, especially the ones that fall into the subgenre of slasher, the characters or events will never approach anything remotely in the realm of reality, so if something so minor as a woman wondering into a scary house is going to stop you... don't watch the movie.
This rant is not really geared towards anyone in particular, but I just get so frustrated with people trying to explain why my beloved films are bad. I know they're not Oscar winning flicks. But if I wanted that, I'd grab my copy of Howard's End. Nope, I love escapist movies. When I get home from work, I like to not have to think. I like to watch silly (and sometimes) scary movies. I will forgive a lot of mistakes as long as the film is earnest or at least mildly amusing.
Slasher films for me are like Calgon. TAKE ME AWAY!